I want to try and get some more down on “paper” about the Race for Life and what it was like as an experience before it fades too much more from my memory. I’ll do a photo post in a few days - the best photos are on my mum’s camera and she can’t find the lead for it right now but hopefully she will soon.

It really was a wonderful experience and I am so glad I did it. But I do feel a little deflated now so I’m hoping to get it all down and share the full story now.

Race for Life is a women only event in aid of Cancer Research UK. It’s a 5KM “race” but there are no winners and losers and you can walk it, run it, go round on a scooter (saw someone doing that), be pushed in a wheelchair (saw several people doing that) or even wheel yourself round in a wheelchair (as I did). Hell, you probably could crawl round it or hop backwards on one foot but I didn’t see anyone doing either of those.

I wheeled my own wheelchair round the course (less one bit which was on grass which they had me go a different way - not 100% convinced I did the same distance but they said it was) and I did so in one hour and forty minutes. I’d known in advance that a lot of the paths it was on weren’t great for a wheelchair and had hoped to do it in less than two hours. Equally I know that if I’d been on proper paths without the odd loose bit of gravel and frequent huge stones sticking up I’d have been quicker. But I’m pleased with what I did.

At one point in time Sam pointed out to me that there was an actual honest to goodness proper path of the kind that wheelchairs love not far ahead of us and one we would be going on.  I screamed “a proper path!” and managed to get some speed up at that time.  Alas, it didn’t last too long and it was back to the loose gravel, dirt and stones much too soon.

When you sign up you get assigned a runner number (mine is 8856 and if you go to this website and select Race for Life Oxford from the drop down and enter it you can see the three photos of me their official photographer took, but I don’t think they are great). You also get sent a bright pink piece of paper which says “I run for life for…” and you can write who you are running for or why you are running. I used a big silver craft marker and decorated it a little and wrote “my Gran” on there. She had skin cancer, not a serious sort and had a brief course of radiotherapy and was fine for years after that. You wear it pinned on your back.

Race for Life is a hugely, hugely emotional day. I don’t know if the organisers realised that it would be when they were first mooting the idea around 10(?) years ago but it is. There were 2500 women taking part in the race I did and most wear those bright pink back signs I mentioned above. Going around the course and reading what others have written on them is very very eye opening but it’s also tough in a way because it gets to you emotionally (or at least it did to me). At least seven times I had to stop reading them, stop my train of thought and say to myself “no, you can’t start crying, you have to do this.”

Sam, my friend I was with, wrote “because I can, for those who can’t.” on her back sign

And we saw many other ones, friends, family, general, and people running for themselves - some of the ones that have stuck with me are:

“Because, six years on, I can.”

“For the surgeon who saved my life.”

“For my Grandad, he got the all clear on Friday.”

“For my daughter and all her friends on ward XX at the childrens hospital”

“For every woman who has found a lump.”

“For the future”

“For the world”

I think the one that has stuck with me the most needs more explaining. Some people just write on their signs, others decorate them and some put photos on them. I drew a few lines around mine but nothing major. Next year, glitter.

We saw one woman running with a photo on her sign and the words “in memory of my sister.” She had a little girl with her who can’t have been more than 11 if that. She had the same photo on her back and the words “in memory of my mum.”

We also saw some people who were very obviously on chemo and Sam said when her friend ran another race for life last year they saw people doing it who were actually on drips at that time receiving chemo as they walked.

*gulp*

At the end of the race there was a big fence thing with clothes pegs on it and a huge sign saying “I race for life for…” most people took their back signs off and stuck them on there. I didn’t look at that closely, I couldn’t. My brother did take some photos of it for me though and Sam went and added ours. She said that she couldn’t read it either, just went added ours and left.

[Photo shows the collection of back signs described above, you can't read the writing on the individual signs as they are too small, just the big sign. There are some people sitting on the grass in the background and grass in front. The fence itself is made of plastic mesh stuff and is blue. One some of the signs you can see photos and things people have printed and stuck on them.]

Oh and although Race for Life is a women only event, we did see a guy running the course in pink wig and bra. So I guess it’s actually pretty inclusive.

At my request, Sam and I were allowed to start the race 20 minutes before the official start time. That was because there was no real way it would have been safe (or I would have felt safe) starting off in a crowd of 2500 people all going to the same place at the same time, especially given the fact that I knew the path wasn’t overly wheelchair friendly and when my Dad and I had gone and walked part of it previously (half of it, in fact) I’d had some where in the region of ten incidents of getting my wheels messed up on loose stones etc and slamming to a stop. The suggestion had been I would start last but thankfully they agreed I could start first.

That was a little embarrassing but also in a way really fun. We thought they would just give us instructions on where to go/what to do and we would go. They thought differently. First one of the stewards asked our names and I heard them repeat it over their headset “It’s Emma and Sam, Emma’s the one in the wheelchair.”

And then they told us. Adam Ball, one of the presenters from our local radio station, Fox FM, was there. And they were going to get him to announce that we were starting earlier and give us a count down. I don’t think it went out on the radio, just over the tannoy in the parks. I hope not at least. I can’t remember the exact words he used but I do remember being impressed and pleased because he didn’t say I use a wheelchair. He said we were starting early because I was determined to push (wheel?) myself around the course and it was liable to take me well over two hours. We got a huge count down from the crowd and we were off.

We covered the first KM in 20 minutes, and were just passed the sign that marked it when we heard the klaxon that marked everyone else starting. Every time we reached a KM sign we found the next bit of shade and stopped to drink water as I can’t wheel my chair and drink at the same time even with the sports hydrant that I have - possibly if I got a regular hydrant I could. So we slurped down some water and kept going. But then we got lost. We were walking with instructions to follow the pink ribbons and with a map, only the last stewards we saw before we got lost didn’t realise we were already running the course so we ended up heading the the start/finish again. Soon figured that out and got back to the main course, having missed a tiny bit (the one bit they had said was narrow and might be difficult in the crowd - and just as the fastest runners got there too thankfully) but made up the distance and then some with our accidental detour. The bit where my parents bumped into us and my dad tried to insist on pushing me back to the course so I didn’t do extra took longer than the detour; I refused to be pushed and mum backed me up when he tried again to insist.

We got passed by loads of people; and because of the announcement made about me at the start loads of people knew I was pushing myself. I tried to keep count of how many took time to squeeze my shoulder or wish me luck, encourage me, tell me i was a brave lady, etc as they went passed. After about a minute I had to give that up.

One lady told me I was nearly done. I laughed and said “oooh you liar. But I love it, thank you.” I think we’d just seen the 2K sign then (and we’d also seen the 500 metres to go sign but that was when we were lost). Two people offered to push me but didn’t mind me saying no. One of those went “awww I was hoping you’d say yes so I’d have an excuse to stop running.” and grinned. Another asked Sam if she (Sam) was allowed to push me. She told her no, and so did I - rather forcefully!

We had to pass one specific point three times and the first time the steward there told us we would be seeing him three times and that we’d be really glad to see him. By the time we saw him last we really were - particularly when he said we had 100 metres to go! And when we passed the 4K sign, Sam went up and kissed it, the crazy woman.

The toughest part for me is the fact that part of the course was over grass and I can’t wheel my chair on grass. I wanted to try but everyone told me not to kill myself and probably leaving that bit was the right move. I went an alternative way (they hadn’t realised that grass and self propelling a wheelchair is not a good move) and the organisers claim it was the same distance. Unfortunately for them, I’m not stupid. The grass bit involved going off of this path, looping around the grass in a made up route marked with pink ribbons and back onto the same path not far from where you left it, and they just had me and Sam go along the path between the two points. A huge part of me is so proud that I did the race for life. But there is another tiny part of me that sits here going “but you didn’t do the course everyone else did and you pretty much definitely didn’t do the whole 5K”. It’s close, I know, and I know that everyone is proud of me regardless. But…

My parents were there and Ben and Geri came into Oxford later to be there. They had a nightmare getting into Oxford and literally ran to make it before we finished. I could see the finish when all of a sudden I glanced over at my dad and saw my brother run up and make it - just in time. I’m not sure Geri saw us finish, I don’t think so. That’s actually when the second official photo of me finishing must have been taken, because I’m looking off to the side in it.

Adam Ball was still there providing commentary talking about the people he could see finishing and providing some encouragement. He announced when me and Sam made it back to the finish (which was also the start) and said he was surprised we’d been so quick, he’d expected us to be longer. He also caught sight of my hands and commented for all to hear over the tannoy that I would need new gloves. I’m not sure I actually do, but my hands were a right state. (After we finished, Sam rang her husband and as she put it - I was wearing black fingerless gloves but they were so dirty you couldn’t tell where the gloves ended and my fingers began. I had a pretty nasty blister right where they ended too but I never noticed it until mum gave me a wet one to clean myself up and it stung like anything.)

Then finally we were over the line, through the archway with it’s Cancer Research UK decal that marked the end. Sam and I hugged and then a steward (at my request) helped me off of the course and on to grass - this was the set up, off of the path onto the grass where the official end stuff was set up (GRRR) where we got our finishers medals, our goodie bags and some bottled water.

Met the family, wandered over to a gazebo and we hung out for a while chatting and drinking water. I made my Dad go and get me a hot dog because I’d been sick with nerves before and hadn’t eaten yet that day other than a quick cake bar right before the start. I was starved by that point.

Moments after that which stuck out to me was hearing about the last person to finish - an 84 year old woman whose time was roughly five minutes slower than mine if you added in my head start (as an aside, there were three Race for Life’s in Oxford that weekend and my friend Emma ran one the day before, she told me later than there had been a two year old there who had walked the whole thing. Wow.). Also, they were playing music and one of the songs was Heather Small - Proud

I heard that (it’s a song I love). And the lyrics (especially those below) called out to me even more than they usually do.

I look into the window of my mind
Reflections of the fears I know I’ve left behind
I step out of the ordinary
I can feel my soul ascending
I’m on my way
Can’t stop me now
And you can do the same

What have you done today to make you feel proud?
It’s never too late to try
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
You could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom
What have you done today to make you feel proud?

I listened to that and I thought “I know what I’ve done today to make me feel proud”. It was a magical moment.

I did the most wonderfully outrageous and somewhat drastic thing this afternoon.  I had my hair chopped off.

It was just below my shoulders and now the longest bits are chin length with lots of shorter bits.  And it totally rocks.  Pictures soon, promise.

Basically I went in and said to Lizzie (hairdresser) that I was thinking of going short and what did she reckon.  I did say no to shaving it all off but other than that gave her free rein, specifying that I meant *short* short.  It’s what she describes as a graduated bob but funkier.

And when she was finished she went “you do NOT want to see how much hair is on the floor.”   We both agreed that there was a pretty good chance I was leaving more hair on the floor than I was taking home on my head!  I nearly took a photo of it but thought that might be a little pathetic.

Anyways one of the comments that Lizzie made was that she wished she was as brave as I was to just go in and have the whole lot cut off.  She cuts my friend Sam’s hair as well and her opinion is that we are both brave (or i think she put it crazy) because we’ve now both gone to her going “i’m going short what do you suggest”.  She said that she couldn’t do that, that she hides behind her hair.  I’d never thought about doing that or that people did so it interested me but we got to talking about other things.

She asked repeatedly was I sure, etc and I just kept saying yes I want to and it’s hair it’ll grow back if I don’t like it.  I also said that for my hair is a part of my personality (well I guess hers is too); that it’s a coping strategy maybe a defensive one and a way in which I define myself as more than “that girl in the wheelchair.”

I put it to her that people stare at me anyway because of my chair so why the hell should I worry about my hair maybe not looking great in a new style or dyeing my hair bright pink/purple/blue whatever - better to do it and be happy and have people stare at me for something that I chose and that’s actually worth them staring at.  After all, my wheels may be sexy but I’d rather people looked at me and saw who I am.

And whilst that was as far as I went with her there is more to it then that.  Life is too short to worry about not having something to hide behind (in my opinion, I am not saying she is wrong) - I’ve lost too many friends too young to worry about what might be.  I live (or I try to) in the here and now.  Because it’s all I’ve got.

Also there is the part of me that thinks that I sure as hell did not go through all the physio and the three surgeries and the AFO’s and the OT and the teasing etc etc to spend my life hidden away and not doing what I want with my hair (and with my life).

Lizzie said at one point that people normally get all their hair cut off in the summer.

I went “yeah well I’m not normal.”

And you know what?  I never will be.  My hair is my statement.  The way I am abnormal/weird/crazy/whatever on MY terms, not on societies.

Gloria Gaynor sang “Life’s not worth a damn, till you can say, I am what I am”  and that’s what I believe.

Today marks my 7th anniversary as a blogger.  I just realised that late last night.

Obviously not all of it is on this site.  And some of my older blogs are lost forever.  That’s not really a bad thing.  When I go back and read some of the older stuff (some of it is saved on my hard drive) it makes me cringe to see what I used to write about and how I used to write.  But it’s also nice to have that record.

Even going back to September this year (just for example) if I were to read my entries again I would find things that I had forgotten about.  It’s a trigger for my memory and  a great way to remember my history.  The big things, and the little.

Here’s to the next 7 years.

I just realised that today is the 112th Day of the year.

And I have taken my medication on every single one of those 112 days.

For the girl who spent most of last year maybe taking the pills once a week? Hell, the girl who sometimes took them once a month if she was lucky? Simply unbelievable.

I know a lot of people won’t understand why taking my meds is so hard for me and why this is such a big deal. I don’t truly understand it myself. But who cares? I’m calling this an achievement.

This is my new Tattoo which I had done today. It’s my first and despite the words of Klunky (the guy who did it and who assures me that I will want more) I don’t feel any great desire to get more. I wasn’t put off getting more but I didn’t leave all addicted to tattooing and desperate for another like he said I would. There were a few other designs I liked but I knew before I went what I had to get and as soon as I saw this design knew it was the one. It was about halfway through the first thing of designs I looked out - there were two, each of which took up most of a wall - and Sophie made me look through all the rest before I decided just in case. I was whining a bit at that point like a petulant child “but I want that one!!!”

I went to Tat2-U and they were all really lovely. I was surprised by the look of the place, expecting it to be dark and dingy and not very welcoming. Interesting side note: They have two sofas in their back to back for people to wait on and they are the same sofa that I have. They have the bright red covers on and I have the black though. We watched part of Titanic while we were waiting and while he did it. I thought that rather a strange choice of movie for a tattoo parlor but their you have it!

I did get rather up close and personal with the other tattoo doing guy (tattooist?) however. The space to get round the desk and into the room where they do they was a tiny amount too small to get my chair through (literally about two centimetres, I blame the camber of my wheels) so I stood up and Soph folding it and moved it then set it up again and then I took like two steps, turned round and sat down again. While she was doing that this guy offered me an arm for balance and asked how to hold me. I said something along the lines of however you want, just give me an arm. But I didn’t expect what I got. Two arms under my arms and held in a bear hug. I was very amused by that. Especially as due to the location of said tattoo I wore I strappy top that shows off my boobs loads and kept slipping down to show most of my bra. So he must of got a good feel of the girls. But heeeee I have a tattoo!

Description of the tattoo in case you need such things: It’s a black gecko and it’s got a kind of aboriginal influence. It starts about an half an inch above my right boob with it’s tail and finishes just below my shoulder / collar bone with it’s head. It looks like it’s climbing up my body.

Everyone keeps asking me why a Gecko?

I don’t really know, all I knew was that I had to have one. It’s what I needed to have. I have had that feeling for a good while now. One thing I do really believe in however is Animal Spirit Guides or Totems. And when I looked up what a Lizard means I knew that it is obviously my Spirit Guide and that’s why I had to have it. So much of it’s meanings and symbolism relates to me.

I found the information from Manataka.Org

LIZARD

Lizards are ancient brothers who are found in warmer climates all over the earth. There are five general families of lizards and literally hundreds of species, the largest being the Komodo Dragons weighing in at more than 350 pounds and the smallest is the Beata measuring less than three quarters of an inch long. They have many descriptive names such as the Australian Bearded Dragon, Yellow Spotted Gecko, Iguanas, Salamanders, and Horned Lizards who squirt blood from their eyes. Many American Indian tribes recorded their relationship with the lizard in images on pottery, petroglyphs, effigy bowls, figures, and shells and portrayed lizards in their ceremonies and stories as symbols of strength.

LIZARD MEDICINE

Some Southwest Indian tribes believe horned lizards can cure the sick by asking for the lizard’s strength in song and chant showing their respect to the animal.

The Lizard is often seen laying peacefully in the shadows of rocks or seen skittering around in dark holes, between light and darkness and is thus referred to as the ‘dream walker’ or one who lives in the dream world. Dreams are important to the human psychic and depict subtle messages from deep within the mind. Lizard medicine reveals these hidden messages during the dream state. Proper interpretation of these dreams often requires the assistance of one trained in the ways of the lizard medicine.

The psychic characteristics inherent in the lizard teaches those with this medicine how to awaken their own abilities by making choices that honor every part of ones life. When lizard appears it signifies a need to go within and analyze your present reality and once done, move with confidence and conviction out into the world of new beginnings.

A powerful totem to have, lizard reveals your weaknesses, your strengths and prompts the energy of change.

The lizard is very sensitive to ground vibrations, they have keen eyesight and superior hearing. Those who feel the spirit of the lizard can learn ways to use their enhanced sensory perceptions to connect with their deeper psychic and spiritual awareness.

One power of the lizard is its ability to escape from danger by leaving its tail behind and growing another. When lizard slithers into your life, it may mean a need to move quickly to avoid danger and be prepared to leave something behind.

When I e-mailed the manager of CAB about yesterday’s event (she was off sick, bet she loved coming back to that e-mail) I used the analogy that my wheelchair, and to a lesser extent my walker*, is my legs and told her that a huge part of my freaked outness was because if it had of been broken by that bloody brat of a child I literally would not have been able to get home.

I wasn’t sure she would understand that but she said she did.  And she said she’s sorry it happened and she’ll get back to me about the question I raised about insurance.

Anyway I thought it might be interesting to share some thoughts about what my wheelchair is.  If you have any similar feelings etc on assistive technology or other things that you or someone you know use, please share them.  I would really like to know how common my feelings are.

*the reason why I say my walker is to a lesser extent and don’t use it in the above list as because I am not very confident with it and can do a lot more with my chair.  My chair is what I would chose if it were a one or the other situation and is truly the one piece of adaptive/assistive technology that has made the biggest diffference in my life.  I’ve chosen to use my manual chair in this list as it is the chair I use most and I have a bit of a love hate relationship with my current powerchair.

Four years ago today I was diagnosed with clinical depression.  I was put onto antidepressants and told I would need to take them for six months.  I was later told by a different doctor that I had been told that incorrectly and no one with clinical depression only takes meds for six months as the protocol written by the WHO states six months once stability/remission of symptoms is achieved.  Reactive depression however does tend to have shorter treatment plans because of its differing nature.  Four years and three medications later I have two prozac capsules waiting for me to take them in a minute and the medication dance continues.

Today isn’t a day to be sad however, I don’t regret that I ended up getting depressed and needing medication for it.  And I’m no longer bothered by the fact that I am still on medication.  I absolutely hated going to the doctors and getting put onto antidepressants, I was so worried about it I was physically sick before I left the house.  And I hated 10th February 2004 when I marked one year of meds.  2005 and two years of meds was a little easier but it was Feb 10th 2006 that was the easiest anniversary for me - I celebrated it.

And I celebrate today.

I had mild depression for at least a year before I went onto treatment, probably longer.  And for the last five months of that I was seriously struggling and my best friend told me repeatedly how worried about me she was.  10/02/03 was not a day when it all went wrong for me and I “caught” depression… depression caught me way before that.  So today is not a sad anniversary for me.  I took control back of my life that day and that is positive.

I’ve always said that I have CP, it doesn’t have me.  Before 10th Feb 2003.  Depression had me and I was lost in it.  But not after that.  Today I am celebrating the fact that for the past four years I HAVE depression and depression DOES NOT have me - I am in control once again and if it still takes pills to do it then so what?

Join me in my celebration won’t you please?

I haven’t written very much about this here but my new years resolution for this year was to be healthier.

So I’ve been taking my medication everyday (seriously I haven’t missed a single dose this year, how I don’t know), I’ve gotten my sleep pattern into something vaguely resembling sense and I’ve been eating somewhat healthier.  I’ve also been trying to spend less time on my computer and been enjoying that too.  And stretching but thats a topic for another entry.
I’ve been trying as a secondary goal to lose some weight but haven’t made that the be all and end all because otherwise I’d just end up losing and then regaining as I did last year.  So not too much effort going into the eating less part, just the healthier part.

One of the things I decided was that I would take measurements and weigh once a month officially, I have been weighing now and then just out of curiousity.  So the first thing I did this morning was to check out my progress.

This month I have lost 7lb

and in terms of measurements I have lost a lot and made myself visual reminders to put here so I can see how much, exactly, it really is.  What it looks like, if you will.

So I lost half an inch from my left thigh which looks like this:

And from my right thigh I’ve lost an inch and a half.  As you might suspect from reading the difference in these measurements my left leg is substantially weaker/more spastic than my right.  My right thigh was also bigger to start with than the left.

From my waist I lost a lovely 3 inches which I can actually tell I’ve lost, I did think my tops seemed looser in the tummy area.  My hips are also sporting 3 inches less fat too which makes me very smiley.  I will put the image reminder twice because I want to be able to see the total amount when I look here.

Waist:

and Hips

Last but most definitely not least, I’ve shed a delicious 2 and a half inches from my chest:

Making a total of a miraculous and amazing and I don’t believe it can actually be true 10.5 inches freed from my body.

Oh and my BMI (body mass index) has gone from 35 to 34 - still classifies me as obese but hey it’s going down!

My friend Mary wrote a poem for/about me. I think it’s absolutely wonderful and love it. I was especially touched as she is one of the best writers I know and she managed to sum up so well who I am. It’s title is my name and surname which I don’t share here.
With her permission I am sharing it here with you.

Eternally hopeful,
Meeting life with courage,
Making no excuses.
Artistic,
Creative,
Ready for anything new.
Energetic fish, alive and free,
Equality is all she asks.
Spirit of adventure and daring is hers.

Thank you Mary for such a lovely and from the heart gift.

This is something of a yearly tradition for me and it is early this year but I have a lot of other stuff I want to do on this site before New Year’s Eve. And also I must admit to being a bit worried that one answer might have to be changed if I leave it.

A Review of 2006 In Survey Form

1. What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before?

Went on a plane by myself, stayed in a hotel alone, got given first aid by paramedics in a foreign country. Went Sailing. Represented the interests of the volunteers in a meeting at CAB

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I did and I didn’t. I kept them to a point but I didn’t then manage the “follow through” that was needed. I don’t think I will make more; I have and am making changes in my life at present and resolutions I would make would relate to keeping these up.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No. Someone who I used to be close to had a baby though and two people I know are due in the early part of 2007

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My Gran died in July. Probably a blessing for her but I really miss her. And following recent events I am extremely thankful that she is the only person I have to list here!

5. What countries did you visit?

Spain (Madrid in May)

France (Cherbourg in September)

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?

Peace of mind maybe. To be truthful I don’t think I’ve missed anything I’ve not had.

7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

17th May – When I went to Madrid

23rd July - when my Gran died

6th Sept - When I went on my JST voyage.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Public speaking about my JST trips.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Probably the access group. I realise now after having it slapped around my head several times by various people that the fact it has folded is not my fault particularly as some people were not meeting any of their role thus leaving more than my responsibilities to me to cover and I couldn’t do it all. However I know that I could have managed my part in running the group (as defined by my role as secretary) a lot better than I did.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Not particularly; I think I was less healthy this year than last but it’s all relative. And obviously I did a pretty number on myself when I decided to “kiss the road” in Madrid but no where near as bad as it good of been – something I am still thankful for today (seven months later)

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Various books from ebay; my new computer desk unit; my JST fleece

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

Different people at different times. But most of all the members of the Rotary Club (especially Stan) who made it possible for me to go on the JST trip and do my speaking engagements

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

Some friends, some carers, some people I work with. Different people at different times.

14. Where did most of your money go?

I was going to say on my trip to Madrid but I think actually it was probably on stuff for my flat.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Doing new stuff, challenging myself, pushing my boundaries

16. What song will always remind you of 2006?

The Leaving of Liverpool

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? About the same

ii. thinner or fatter? Maybe a tiny bit thinner but mostly about the same

iii. richer or poorer? About the same

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Taking the time to really enjoy stuff and not worrying about what happens next. Standing up for myself more

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying and stressing. Letting others influence me and my decisions and feelings.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

At my parents house. However now I’m living so close I think I will be spending more time here than I have previously over Christmas and just spend all/part of some of the days with my family.

22. Did you fall in love in 2006?

No. Love is overrated.

23. How many one-night stands?

None

24. What was your favourite TV programme?

Brat Camp

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

No one overally, again hate is a waste of time but I will say that my opinions of some people have changed (some for better, some for worse)

26. What was the best book you read?

Perfect Match by Jodi Picoult; Gentleman and Players by Joanne Harris or Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

All sorts of different stuff - Sandi Thom I guess.

28. What did you want and get?

To travel. I love to travel and travelling by myself (or mostly by myself) this year was a dream come true.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?

I don’t know, I haven’t been to the cinema once this year. I did watch Nanny McPhee on DVD however and enjoyed it.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I will be 25 and I will be going to see Cats with my mum.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Nothing really. There is no point whatsoever in should haves could haves and would haves. All in all it was a good year and I didn’t waste it waiting for things I didn’t/couldn’t have at that time.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?

Same as always - jeans, etc.

34. What kept you sane?

Reading old favourite books. Especially Chalet School ones as they are comforting and set in an easier time.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

No one

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

Charlotte Wyatt/Right to Life (again!)

37. Who did you miss?

My Gran, my sister after she went to uni, my friend Maryse.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

I really don’t like this question; it devalues the meaning of this and of friendship. I have gotten to know some people better and I’ve met some new people. They are all really good people and have their values and positive points in different ways.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:

Whatever happens will be for the best and I’ll make it through. Also that I am stronger than I realise and can do more than either me or others realise that I can

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

paraphrased but:

Five Hundred Twenty Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes,
Five Hundred Twenty Five Thousand Moments so dear
Five Hundred Twenty Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?
How about love?
Measure in love
Seasons of love.
Its time now, to sing out
though the story never ends
lets celebrate remember a year
in the life of friends

Seasons of Love from the Rent Soundtrack