The Life and Times of Emma

My new blog is all set up.  Moving my data is proving to be more complicated than I anticipated so I’ll have to think about it some more.

But in the mean time you can find it here – and I just updated it.  There isn’t much there at the moment though.

More than likely this will be the last entry in this specific blog.

It was a wordpress error and not a problem with the renewal that had this blog down over the weekend. Thankfully my webhost fixed it and without any data lost.

But I’ve set up a new blog and will be moving over there once I get it set up and all my data moved across.

There is a chance this website is going to disappear in the next few days. My web host are being a bit shit about renewing it. I’ve paid the renewal (which they agree I have) but keep getting reminders to pay. Have already had one support ticket in about this (supposedly resolved) but just got another reminder to pay. Along with the “your site could go offline” warning in it.

ARGH

Item: On Monday it appeared that one of the things I’ve been wanting to do since I heard about it was in fact going to have to be off of the cards for me because of CP.

Item: Yesterday there were two things that were CP crap and using lots of my disability fighting ness and all a bit much.  Particularly because of the guilt trips involved.  And the sighing.

Item: people involved in assisting people with disabilities should not be allowed to sigh whilst doing so.  The “Okay I’ll do that” …. *Sigh* thing is discouraging.

Item: Yesterday and Monday’s Items added together make me fed up and down.

Item: Big decisions have been made which should enable me to be more independant and could possibly put Monday’s Item back on the cards if they work out.

Item: I didn’t freak out when asked a very important question earlier but advocated for myself and am supported in doing so.

Item: I bought yet more theatre tickets yesterday which makes me a bit happier.

Item: Anxiety sucks.

But this cripple does not.

I don’t like the fact that my hair is gradually getting more and more blonde as the week goes on.  In fact the word “sandy” was used to describe the colour of my hair today.  And Sophie said earlier that my hair is a different colour every time she sees me.

This fading is a little bit ridiculous.  I’ll probably be bleach blonde in a few weeks if it keeps up.  I had blonde as anything hair when I was two or three but I’ve been mousy and brunette (and many many colours from a bottle) ever since.  I never missed being a blonde.  I never really wanted to be a blonde.  It always seemed like too much work although I did have a home highlighting kit done once.  It wasn’t anything special.

I really wanted something special in my hair this time… it certainly is special but not in a good way.  And it’s annoying because it cost a hell of a lot of money and was supposed to be a special treat.  They did redo it for me when it didn’t work the first time.  but it hasn’t worked a second either.  Everyone keeps saying I should go back but I kind of feel like it’s too much effort and obviously isn’t going to work.

I’m considering a trip to buy a bottle of dye and doing it myself soon… I like the colour it is now but I don’t like the way its changing and fading.

Or the fact that when my cleaner went “what colour do you call that?” I had to reply “it’s called “this should have come out wild orchid its a dark ish purple shade with red streaks and they tried twice but it didn’t work.”

But the best response to the many “I love the colour of your hair!” “it’s supposed to be PURPLE” conversations was the person who went “yeah, I can see that it’s a lovely new shade of purple… a kind of coppery one.”

Made me laugh.

I’m gonna shut up now.  And I promise not to post such a self obssessed girly way that I look rant again for a long while.  Or at least the rest of the week.

Reconnect with/get back in touch with old friends

…has been completed!

This really is a bit of an ongoing goal that probably should never actually be ticked off as done because being a friend as such is a lifelong job.  And certainly there are a few friends I’m probably not being there for as much as they’d like me to (or I’d like to in some cases) at the moment.

But the big thing for me with this goal was that I’d lost touch with so many of my uni friends and I miss them a lot so it really wasn’t right.

Having visited with two of them earlier in the year and had long chats with another two this week I think this is done.  I have tentative plans (no dates but a rough idea of what we want to do when we meet up) to meet up with two or three of them as well so I think this is done for now.  Or at least done enough to mark it off.

And with all of my friends so far it’s been just like it was yesterday rather than years or months since we spoke.

I’m very lucky.

Some weeks I go to sailing with some friends (guy I sail with and his wife).  Other weeks my Dad takes me and the friend who sails.  It works well because it means I get some independance from relying on my parents but I don’t feel guilty about asking a lot of friends all the time.  Plus either my Dad or A get to stay home rather than both being dragged out when we all live in the same town.

My Dad’s been doing some work on my garden lately and had said that he’d get me in the boat this week (his turn to drive) then go off to homebase to get the stuff.  He reckoned it was half an hour, 40 min job and probably be back not long after I finished sailing if not before.  He also took my handbag with him because he didn’t want to leave it in my sailing kit (I only take the bear minimum to sailing and empty the rest out before so wasn’t overally bothered if he did).

So I went out for a sail and was out for about half an hour.  Not as long as we expected but not far off – I came in at that point because they wanted the boat for someone else.  It’s the first time that’s happened since I’ve sailed solo and several other people have been called in for me so I didn’t mind.

Anyway usually my Dad sees me coming and wanders over to help me out the boat.  There was no sign of him but I was earlier than expected and there were plenty of people who know how to help me around so it was fine.

Then one of the volunteers came over and said “Emma, your Dad’s not here.” and I was all “yeah he’s gone shopping I know.” and she told me no, my friend had gashed his foot and Dad had taken him to the minor injuries unit and would be back once he’d dropped him off.

So I was a bit freaked out and I was worried about my friend.  But not having my handbag was much more of an issue to me than I expected.  The lack of money to buy a drink bothered me but was fine… I asked the barman for a glass of water and he was all “just water? No coke?” and I explained and he let me have it and pay him back when Dad got back.

Went back outside and chatted to a bunch of people and hung around.  And I was fine.  And I knew I was fine.  That fact I didn’t have my phone, however, drove me somewhat crazy.  It made me really anxious.

I was the first of my friends to get a mobile.  I got it when I was 16 a few months before the phone craze took off.  And I got it because my parents thought I should have one in case I ever fell or broke my chair while out.

Over the past 11 years there’s been several occasions I’ve had to use it in emergencies like that (including today when I got a stone caught in my wheel and was moving but couldn’t get it out and was worried about it jamming and breaking the chair so stopped and waited till Dad got to me).  There was also one occasion when I had a pay as you go phone, chair battery died and had no credit on my phone (luckily I was on my road and my Dad was coming round twenty minutes later so found me).  I’ve had a contract phone ever since.  Rarely use anywhere near all my minutes and texts but it’s worth the piece of mind.

And once or twice I’ve been with someone in the pool or a restaurant and had access issues getting back to them – I’ve used it then if I couldn’t get anyones attention.  If that happens I usually just ring their phone then hang up and hope they come looking.

So as much as at times I get annoyed by non stop texts (usually the silly chain texts type things) and all that, my phone is my lifeline and I rarely leave the house without it.  Usually it’s either because I forgot it wasn’t in my bag or because I have got it but I’ve missed that the battery died.

Not having it on Tuesday freaked me out a little.  No matter how much I knew that I could 90% guarantee my Dad didn’t have his on him and even if he did it would be switched off while he drove.  And I knew that I was surrounded by friends and if anything happened someone would have a phone I could borrow.  But my lifeline wasn’t there.  It surprised me that it made me that anxious but it really did.

Thinking about it now if I suddenly didn’t have a phone I don’t know if I would feel as confident going places as I do now.  I used to in those long ago pre phone days.  But then I didn’t know any different.  And more importantly I was a teenager who didn’t go as far from home or need to do as much as I do now.

In the end my Dad was back sooner than I expected (I’d just asked one of the others how long he thought it would take to get there and back when he turne up) and all was fine.

My friend is OK too I hear.  But I was slightly amused when Dad got back to the sailing club.  First he had to explain to me exactly what he’d done.  Then two or three other people came over separately to ask if N was OK.  And each time my Dad stood there and explained the injury and you could visibly see that he was making himself cringe with the thought of it as he did so – and the rest of us too.  I am amused by stupid things.

I’ve officially read as many books so far this year as I did in the whole of 2008 – 72 and currently halfway through the 73rd.

I’ve got a long way to go before I hit the 93 books that I need to match my 2007 reading (the first year I listed) but I’m thinking that shoudl be easy.  And that this year is going to be one where I easily fufil the “Read 100 books in a year” goal that sits on my current 101 in 1001 list waiting to be done.

Of course now I said that, I’ve probably jinxed myself…

I kind of feel like I should write some kind of catch up post with all the little bits of my life I’ve not blogged lately.

• I’m still doing behind the scenes stuff one day a week at CAB and advising on the other.  And by day I still mean half day, obviously.  I’m really enjoying the behind the scenes stuff – it’s social policy work.  I do stuff like prep letter to go to our MP, type up any evidence, posters so our clients can see what we’re gathering evidence on stuff like that.  Advising I probably enjoy less but I still get a lot out of at times.  The SP stuff is perfect for my disability advocacy side though.  Awareness etc goes between the two.

• I conquered my fear of sailing alone earlier this year.  But haven’t actually managed to do much sailing lately due to the weather.  And also due to the weather the last twice I’ve sailed I have had to take a buddy or not sail.  The first time it was the case I said “No I sail by myself now, I don’t want to sail if I need a buddy.” but then it went on another week or two and I thought I’d rather sail.  This week I sailed with a guy who is a very talented challenger sailor as my buddy and learned a lot.

• I fear I am cyber purple no more.  I had my hair done a couple of weeks ago at the hairdressers and it came out a weird pinky red instead of the purple colour I chose.   So they offered me a free redo.  I went for that yesterday (by which time it had faded to a coppery boring colour in only two weeks).  And it is still not purple but its a reallly bright pinky red – seriously noticably hot and fun.  Probably brighter than I’ve had it before.  Mum described it as light earlier and not what she expected when I said we were going for purple.  I like it.  But it’s not purple and my hairdresser says it might be my medication is affecting my hair and making it not take the dye properly.  I don’t know what I think of that, will have to consult with Dr Google at some point.

• The coolest thing however is that my hairdresser took a photo of me/my hair to put in her portfolio of what she does.  I don’t really know what it’s for or what it does but thats cool.

• Haven’t been feeling well for several weeks, falling asleep practically every afternoon and generally feeling a bit lousy.

• It turns out I’m a terrible needle stick.  Well, the nurse didn’t actually say that but being that she tried two needles in my arm and failed to get blood from me and had to resort to a butterfly needle in my hand that appears to be the only conclusion I can draw.

• I had three normal size tubes and one bigger one of blood drawn yesterday.  Looked like a lot but I’m told it was only about three teaspoons.   Hormone levels, liver and kidney functions, thyroid, blood sugar and full blood count.

• I’m definitely not diabetic which is a huge relief to me.  My mum worries about that for me due to family history and my love of all things sweet.  My blood sugar was well below the panic level which led to some amusement when I told several people that I have a long way to go before I’m diabetic.  Which totally made it sound like diabetes is something I’m aiming for.  And I’m not, obviously.

• My book list on this blog needs a serious update.

• I also need to get back to some writing soonish.

• Still working on the redesign.